The stress of planning the most important day of your life can break even the calmest of brides. Add the complication of divorced parents on either side of the wedding party to the mix and planning can become an emotional minefield.
Whether your parents are remarried and on speaking terms or have not uttered a word to each other over the past decade – they will have one thing in common. Your big day. And they won’t want anything to get in the way of spoiling your happiness.
Organisation and clear communication in the months running up to your wedding can save a lot of hassle and confusion for families on the day. Here are our top tips to help you deal with parental conflict and keep you calm your special day.
Choosing invitations
Many couples use the more modern approach of inviting guests on their behalf to join in the celebrations. This will avoid any feelings of awkwardness for your parents and their current partners. However, ask your parents if they feel comfortable using a more traditional style of invitation if you would prefer this; the bride’s parents request the company of guests at their daughter’s upcoming nuptials. In this case, proper etiquette is to name both parents on separate lines.
Here comes the bride
Giving the bride away is one of the most intimate memories shared between a father and daughter. If you are lucky enough to have a great bond with your dad, this won’t be an issue.
If you equally have a strong relationship with your stepfather, this can pose quite a dilemma for the bride. Maybe both men can respect your predicament and agree to share your walk up the aisle to result in a win/win situation for everyone.
Best buds with your mum? Many brides are choosing to walk up the aisle in style with their mum at their side. We can’t think of a better way to show a bit of girl power.
Devise a seating plan
According to tradition, friends and relations of the bride and groom sit directly behind on the appropriate side with the first three rows reserved for family. Ask guests to intermingle during the ceremony to avoid clashes between guests and stepfamilies who may not speak. This way everyone will feel of equal importance.
The reception seating plan is known to have caused many tears and tantrums in the lead up to the big day. It is chopped, changed and increased over a dozen times in the weeks prior. Adding stepfamilies and divorced parents to the plan and organising a top table can prove quite tricky.
If your parents disagree to share a meal together at the top table, it can be devastating. The easiest thing to do in this situation is to have both sets of parents host their own tables near the head of the room. They can still feel important but relaxed enough to enjoy their evening with family and friends.
Discuss photography
Wedding photos can be a very sensitive topic. Everyone will want a picture with you and your other half on the day and family photos can stir up a lot of emotions. You may want a family photo with your parents. However, many former spouses may refuse to be in a photo together and instead want pictures taken with their current partner. Have a chat with your parents beforehand and see how you can accommodate their wishes on the day. Make sure to speak with your photographer in advance and explain the family situation. You can then draw up a shot list together and take a range of images to include stepfamilies.
Image Credits: Elizabeth Anne Designs; Just Invite Me; Brides; Style Me Pretty; Style Me Pretty.
