You’ve been together a while now. After a clandestine and complex diplomatic meeting in a cafe, you have decided to move in together. One part of you is completely exhilerated, the other part – terrified! Beware of the accidental flushing of a toothpaste cap down the toilet. This may seem insignifcant, but if you listen hard enough you will hear a horn in the distance. That horn is the sound of your relationship ending.
Ha kidding! Just work out the crappy parts first and you’re more likely to enjoy seeing the seasons change together. In this YouTube video with Jenni Trent-Hughes, she mentions that it’s perfectly natural to feel apprehensive about moving in together, however its still the best way to get to know someone in a profound way. Jenni is the eHarmony relationship expert and has lots of great advice to share.
Be Separate But Together
If you cling to each other like two barnacles on the bottom of a rusty boat, someday, a sexy looking boatman or boatwoman will scrape you off the side of the boat, whether you like it or not. Not only that, but if you are clingy barnacles you’ll both be miserable, and possibly listen constantly to The Smiths while crying.
Avoid a ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now’ type melancholy, by cultivating a separate existence from each other. When you return home after doing your own thing, you’ll have loads of new ideas and experiences to talk about with your partner.
Bonus: Furry things love empty boxes
Katie Tegtmeyer Flickr.
Take Them For a Test Drive
That means spending some quality time in your partner’s den of iniquity. Watch how they do things with an anthropologist’s keen eye. Does she leave crusty bits of cereal on the bowl after washing up? Does he religiously watch Jeremy Kyle? Does she wear beige granny pants? Does he have fungal feet?
The thing is, all of these things may get on your nerves, but in some cases these habits can be changed. If you do a trial run, you can witness these quirks in action and either accept them, find a compromise, or banish your partner back to the gene pool. Throw their belongings out of the window and shout onto the street ‘back to the gene pool with thee!’ – just to be nice about it.
Have the Tough Talk
This involves discussing the issues of cleanliness, chores and good housekeeping. It’s better to discuss these standards at the beginning, just like it’s best to read the terms and conditions on a mobile phone contract before you sign it. This means that if either of you starts getting careless, sloppy or lazy; the other person can wave the terms and conditions in the air whilst sitting on a high horse or a unicorn.
Find your own branch and snuggle the days away.
Flickr Linda_Yvonne
Carve Out Your Own Space
Some people pretty much live on top of each other in expensive pockets of the country (although they seem to prefer it that way). Hmm that’s a double-entendre by the way. Even in small spaces you can carve out your own separate niche areas. The additional space under the stairs or in the study can then be your private sanctuary. Put up a pirate flag, Police tape or draw a chalk line, so that your partner gets the message. All human beings need space, and doing this will be like a blast of fresh air for your relationship.
