A wedding is the most magical, beautiful, heart-warming, special day to be apart of. Yes, we know! But every once in a while it’s nice to have a good old whinge. If you are an engaged couple planning your nuptials – this is what EVERY wedding guest hates. Take note, you will see a clear pattern emerging on the subject of food.
Poor Organisation
We can’t wait to see your enchanted castle wedding reception. And it was super generous of you to organise a bus to transport everyone from the church to the venue. But you failed to remember to book the return journey back to the hotel where most of your pals are staying. And now we’re all stranded. Simply wonderful.
An Early Ceremony
This is clearly wedding rule number one. And if you break it – boy are you going to annoy pretty much everyone invited. We understand you are eager to get a ring on your finger. But that doesn’t mean we all have to suffer and rush on the morning of your special day. There’s a clear schedule planned out; getting our hair and make up done, getting dressed, re-touching tan lines and travelling to the church (which by the way is in the middle of nowhere). God forbid if our hairdresser makes a mistake and we have to re-wash our hair at home. Anytime after 2:00pm will be fine, thank you very much.
A Long Wait From the Reception To The Dinner
Hangry. When there’s no Maccy D’s nearby to do a quick pit-stop and pick up a quarter pounder. Early ceremony plus late banquet meal equals very angry and hungry guests.
Sitting With People You Don’t Know
The awkward moment when you’re sitting in silence at the table and accidentally eat the man to your left’s bread roll. And his wife glares as if you just let the Santa secret out of the bag.
Never-Ending Speeches
This really grinds our gears, especially if it’s before the food! Not to mention the feeble sniggers as the Best Man makes a series of epic fails trying to be funny. The poor fella could solve the water restrictions during the Californian drought at the rate he’s bucketing sweat.
A Poor Selection Of Food
You’re not an adventurous eater, with a palette more honed to meat and mash. After all that waiting, you get to your seat and pick up the menu eagerly. Starter is pâté. Main course is duck. *Dies a little inside*
Serving Wedding Cake As A Dessert
This is not okay. Ya it is pretty but where’s our trio of desserts gone? Always save your wedding cake for later in the night when we will appreciate it with a cup of tea.
Being Herded Like Cattle
If the food was a success, it’s nice to sit and wallow in your food coma for a while before being carted off to the reception area of the hotel so the staff can set up the dance floor. Just saying like.
A Naff Band
Seriously. Enough. After enduring all of the above, watching your uncle jig around the dance floor to a rather dodgy looking Rod Stewart impersonator singing Do Ya Think I’m Sexy is just plain embarrassing. Where’s the DJ? Taxi…
Tossing The Bouquet
This is just so cringe. No matter how much you try and force us, we won’t have anything to do with it what-so-ever.
